I Told You So

Hai Daisies!

Its the first week before school ends, so there is like 2 more weeks to go and today we get to confirm our SA2 results for the paper itself, which means that we would know whether did we pass that certain subject or not, as well as, knowing the position you obtain in class and level.



Personally, I claimed to 4th position in class and 9th in level and in my point of view, I did quite badly compared to mid term, but at least I'm still Top 10 in level and class.

What irks me is that my close friend of mine who is also a laterally transferred student like me, the position she got wasn't as what she would be pleased and I'm like "I told you that you would regret."

The story is that a few days before the exam started (which was a weekend), that friend, which I shall name Friend A, along with some other friends, we went out to study together on a Saturday and Friend A was kind of distracted and knowing that our Geography paper was on Monday, she didn't really study much of it.

And knowing that she is weak on that certain subject, I offered to help her out, but she declined, saying that she wasn't in the mood to study. While 3 of us were studying, 2 of them, Friend A and another friend, were distracted and kept talking and drawing.


I am not really concerned about the other friend because she is actually coping well so there isn't much to worry about.


Moving on to Sunday.

In the class group chat, we all discussed about the topics tested and asked questions about it, sending pictures of notes and all.

And so the next day, Friend A came in and I realised that she was looking at the wrong notes and decided to tell her that. She then said that she studied everything, not knowing the topics given. I told her that it was all on the group chat and she replied "My phone screen is badly cracked, how do you expect me to see and know?"

Making a comeback, "So why didn't you ask someone to help you type it out and send it to you? Or even call?" She was silenced.

It then continued for the next few subjects. Staying back in school to study is a good thing, but studying with the wrong company isn't.

So she was really distracted and was having fun playing with the seniors as I was upstairs studying like cray cray. I did tell her that she was with the wrong company to study with, but she didn't really care and I gave up trying to help.

And now knowing our results, she regrets and cries about it.

--

Not to be mean or anything, but it's just that, I've been trying to ring the sense of urgency in her head since the start of our second semester. I endured the urge to be angered, but it came to a point whereby I was really annoyed and I decided to stop.

I do feel bad for her, but what can I do now?
There is no turning back.
She may go back to NA or she just have to put in extra effort to study next year due to streaming.
All I can do then is to help her, to motivate her.

But for now, all I can say is "I told you so."

--

So yeah, that's the end of this little rant I had in school today and yesterday.

I really wish that I can somehow magically pull up her marks,
but I guess this is what she gets for not listening to me
or not having the sense of urgency.

Till next time, 

buaibuai!!

Starving?

Hey my daisies! So holidays are coming for me and I am currently having a 2-3 weeks break from all those studying and urgh, I'm glad it's over.

But over the past few weeks when I was studying like cray cray, my personality changed like 180 and many of my friends said that I changed for the worst and got kinda offended.


There was only one friend, my best friend, of mine since last year understood the stage I was in and didn't really bother about me. When I had no appetite to eat after school she would ask me to eat, but not like force me to eat, because I honestly didn't have the appetite, but I did eat a little so yeah.

But many talked behind my back saying and assuming that I am not eating because I am on a diet, or I am starving myself to look skinnier for my boyfriend. It's bullshit, okay?

They assume whatever I do is because of my boyfriend.

What's wrong with being on a diet?

Who are you to tell me what to do in MY life?

Maybe I just have a passion for exercising or I really don't have an appetite, not because I wanna lose weight.

It really annoys me that there are people out there assuming and assuming and they claim that they are not. Sigh, annoying.

----

I guess that's all for today,

 just something to get out of my chest after a month of enduring,
thanks for reading,
buaibuaaaii! 

It's Not Just HER

Hey Daisies~ This incident actually happened yesterday and it was really a pain in the ass, so I had to let it out.

Some people don't realise what they say annoy people, and when someone else does the same thing, you find it annoying.

Basically you are just annoying yourself unwillingly.


So I have a senior who is super awesome, funny, bossy in a really good way, and she is super smart. But the thing is that she has a bad past and a scary background. She deals with family problems everyday, she goes through 'N' Level stress, insecurity as well as having a crush on someone who doesn't like her back.

And she went to cut her hair yesterday and posted on our group chat, asking 'How do I look with short hair?"

Everyone knows when you ask such questions, you will get feedbacks, comments and replies from different people. Everyone in the group including me replied back with compliments and all, no negative comments, nothing negative at all.

And she kept replying, "No! I am so ugly!" etc etc

Now, many would just say "Omg, she is such an attention seeker!"

Even if she is, words still hurt. But the problem now is that she registered in her head is that 'She is ugly'. Its a FACT TO HER. And thus she would neglect our compliments. What I would like to say to this senior of mine is that why are you asking us on our opinion when you already know you are ugly?

Plus we ALL have different opinions. To you, you may look fat and ugly, but to others you look skinny and beautiful.

Now here comes the thing that I want to say badly, when she started to say that she is ugly and all, the rest were really angry and started to scold her for being so negative when THEY themselves are always like that.

They later come and tell me how annoying she is being, how she should accept their compliments and not neglect them. And I'm like here thinking to myself, "That is what all of you have f-ing been doing."

So think twice before you say anything bad behind someone else's back, because you may just be backstabbing yourself too.

--

That concludes my rant, there is more to this, 

but I would be cursing and all throughout the whole time so, 

better to be safe than sorry.

Hope some may relate to my problem today and 

stay tune for more relate-able  rants!

2nd Semester

After Ever After

Hey Daisies! Well the second semester just started and the first week of it just ended!
The week just passed by like that!
But these few days, I felt really lonely in terms of I had no one to talk to, no one to approach.

My boyfriend was really busy with his CCA, I had some conflicts with my friends, just, urgh, lonesome.


These days I feel really left out, my friends have like other friends to attend to, I won't touch on my boyfriend since he was really tired and busy, nothing bad about that, but being left out by my friends is something kinda saddening, well to me.

But then again, I like the feeling of being alone. I would rather be alone than be betrayed by people, something I learnt over the years as a teenager. I never liked to joke around, which spark off most friendship problems because my friends like to joke around with me and all.

I just feel, like I'm not suitable for my friends in a way.

They love to joke around, I don't.
They are not really sensitive, I am super sensitive.
They are fun to be with, I'm not

Like I would usually keep quiet, since I don't want my words to hurt anyone. But like what I told my close friends before, I would be a 'mute' if I have to, if my words don't make any sense or hurt someone. I don't know, I just feel like whatever I say would hurt someone very badly.

Even if I go through a battle in my head and heart, I still smile so nobody would worry, so nobody would know I am going through a depressing life. But nobody understands how I feel about things, which is kinda annoying cause they would say I am usually a really cheerful girl, but sorry guise, I'm not all that happy :)

But for now, I would like my second semester to be peaceful and conflict-free.

Bummed Out

Hey Daisies! Erm well, today I feel really bummed out because well, I just feel as if I am not good enough.

In terms of relationship, friendship, school, family, everything.

I'm not good enough for my peers, my love, my parents, my teachers, I don't know I just feel like, sigh..

Recently I got into some peer pressure and god, I feel betrayed, hurt and angry all at the same time.


*REMINDER*

Please don't get offended in any way possible, 

I am just voicing out the things I didn't get to say for a really long time.

In terms of friendship, I try my very best to help everyone who is in need of that shoulder to cry on. And when the problem is done, I don't get acknowledged, remembered, I'm just abandoned.

The problem I have right now is that, I have a friend who is suicidal, she gets depressed quite often and her friends and I try our best to cheer her up and all, especially me, as I am in the same class as her since last year. But, helping her out is harder than I thought it would be.

And I didn't mind that, I understand depression, I know how it feels to get depression. But rejecting your closest's friend's help for almost 5 months and accepting a senior's advice instead? Well that's heart breaking.

It may sound like I am jealous, I'm not.

I just feel like a toy. I cheer her up when I'm super stressed, gloomy, angry, annoyed, I try my very best to help her. But, whenever I beg her not to cut or do anything stupid, she does, and when our senior begs her not to, she listens.

So it has almost been 5 months of being 'rejected' in a way, and I am fed up. I'm seriously giving up. Why should I continue helping when she doesn't even listen? When she doesn't even want to hear me out? When she doesn't even know I'm worrying way too much for her? It's as if I am talking to a wall.

And before the holidays started, I started to give up, I started to not care, I minimise the times I helped and the way I helped, it hurts me way too much.

BUT
I'm getting into a worst situation.

She told my friend that I've changed, I'm not caring any more, I'm not like the freaking mother who nags all the time. Well you are the one who changed me..

Because I don't want to hurt myself or you any more. My words are too hard for you understand and you assume it as insult, a scolding, when I'm trying my very best to be that friend who loves you a lot..

Why must I always be misunderstood by every single thing I do.
Why must people look at my mistakes and not my good deeds.
Everyone makes mistakes, so why are you making a big fuss out of it, it's as if I've never done anything good in my entire life.

Is it that hard to understand a helping hand?

--

In terms of family, I've never liked hanging out with my relatives except for the ones around my age. My aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, god mom, god dad, everyone, simple everyone thinks I'm still a child and expects way too high from me, either that or look down on me, it's sickening and hurtful.

I live with my aunt and uncle when school starts as they live closer to my school while I stay quite far. And they have way too much expectations, high ones.

A repeated fact, I am from Normal Academic and I jumped to Express, which is a little more stressful as I need to keep up and such, and my aunt and uncle wants me to get into Top 5 in level and Top 3 in class although I am weak.

It's not really impossible, but stressing a teenage girl and giving her way too high expectations? There's something called 'relax' and 'take it slow'. I got 7th in level and 4th in class, they were semi-satisfied, but they wanted more.

Whenever I hang out with my friends or we coincidently meet, my aunt would ask :

"How are your results?"
"Which stream are you from? Express?"
"Are her results good?"

And, she hates Normal stream students. I don't why, I just call it judgemental.

Last year whenever I told her I'm out with my NA classmates, she would be sad and tell me not to hang out with them, they are 'bad influence'.

VS

This year, she would ask me to go study with them, hang out with them, and study again.

I really hate it when my aunt, or even relatives to that to me. Can you not judge my friends? How are you a modern and sophisticated lady when you are so arrogant and judgemental?

It's bullshit.

------

Sigh.. I would be ending here.

I am way to tired of my life and I just want to stop before I get overboard.

Please don't get offended in any way possible,
I am just voicing out the things I didn't get to say for a really long time.

So yeah, till the next update, bai!

A New Start!

BTS - Just One Day

Hai Daisies! Some of you would find this format a little familiar, it's because I am the same blogger for Awkward Sunni, CLICK here to visit it!

Many of you would ask, "Why create another one?"

It's because I don't really want to rant there, I want to focus more on tags, tips, advice, outings on that blog, maybe have some High School Problem Rants there, but I won't rant about like friendship, love etc.

So yeah!

I already had this blog since last year, but I actually changed the entire outlook and here I am! I wanted to change my outlook because, I want to start anew and why not change the look?

I actually had a really hard time wrecking my head for a new blogspot name, it was originally Mongmi Wonderland, and I changed it to SUNNYlicious, my nickname but it's actually Sunni, but close enough. And someone already took it and here are the other names I tried :

- Rainbowlicious
- Rainlicious
- Bluelicious

Don't judge me for the '-licious' thing! I really like it!

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But yeah, and why not start off this blog with a little introduction? So here are 15 Facts About Me!

1. I am from Asian~
   
2. I have a lot of problems in life that I would say out loud because, nobody simply cares about my problems.
   
3. I have a boyfriend, just to let you guys know, don't try to hit on me!
   
4.  The problems I face are usually peer pressure as well as rumors & gossips from my friends, urgh so disappointing much...
   
5. I am from Singapore!
   
6. I am a typical Kpop fan, but I am more to the Tumblr, Indie-ish, Vintage side.
   
7. I wish to own vintage items, they are simple my favourite type of everything! Wallpapers, text, pictures, furniture, anything!
   
8. School is just simply annoying, but I don't hate it, on;y the education part, does that make sense?
   
9. Shopaholic here~
   
10. My catch-phrase is 'So yeah'.
    
11. I am originally from Normal Academic Stream and I jumped to Express this year, causing more trouble, stress and problems. (SG Teens would understand better)
    
12. My nickname is Sunni!
    
13. Horoscope : Virgo
    
14. 14 is one of my favourite number, as well as 6, 20 and 19.
    
15. OREOS FOR LIFE!

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Well that's it! I hope you learnt a little bit about me and know what kind of rants you are in for.

This is farewell then, stay tune for the next update!
Baibai^^